5. Do I go through anxiety, depression, and periods of darkness in the weeks before my birthday, during the winter holiday season, when I menstruate, or when I am faced with a major change in my security? Have I ever considered that these dark times in my life might be a naturally occurring part of the cyclical process and a necessary period to facilitate regeneration and the birth of something new?
I had to sit here and think about the first part of this question. Not sure if I ever felt that way before my birthday. I might have but not because I was getting old, because no one does the things I do for others. Yes during the winter months I find myself struggling to get things done and missing the sun so much. My mother made a comment last Dec that made me think. She said "At the end of the year you always have issues, maybe you have the seasonal disorder." I said yes I know. I am not one to embrace winter because I just do not like it. I hate being cold and do not like snow.. This year I tried to embrace winter. To find the good in resting and taking time for myself!! When I menstruate my first day is a tough one. I get the heaviest flow that day, the bad cramps and back aches, and every now and then I retain water. The first day takes so much out of me that I just want to sleep and rest all day. I used to get depressed and worry about changes in my security until my back issues happened. That is when I learned that no matter what you do , you can loose your security at any time no matter how hard you try. Your body will tell you when it needs rest!! I looked back and saw that I still had a place to live , my kids were taken care of and I was doing better that whole time. I do not worry to much anymore.Yes , Yes and another YES to the last question. If we did not have these times to sit and "rest" or "die" nothing new would come around and I for one wouldn't want it any other way. I always have room for bigger and better things!! I embrace change way better than I did before!!